Portfolio: Not mySelf: Not mySelf; 22 Jun 19

“Finding Self Grace.”  I tend to hold myself to fairly high expectations. I set my goals and reach them. This month I decided to try to get healthy again. I went to the docs for help on the medical issues and decided I was going to workout 1-2x per day indefinitely. A week and a half ago, I had to skip a day for personal reasons. I felt awful for it but figured it was a once in a blue moon thing. But then today I have been sick with food poisoning. And I hate myself for not being able to workout. I am fighting every negative thought with what remaining energy I have to avoid thinking that I’m letting him down. I’m letting her down. I’m letting them down... I’m not good enough and I’m letting myself down. Of course this isn’t true but it’s not easy to find that grace for myself, to allow my physical health to take priority over my self-expectations. Shoot, I even wanted to do a different photo for this but couldn’t manage it. But in these moments of weakness and pain and vulnerability, it is possible to give yourself grace and peace.
Not mySelf; 22 Jun 19

“Finding Self Grace.” I tend to hold myself to fairly high expectations. I set my goals and reach them. This month I decided to try to get healthy again. I went to the docs for help on the medical issues and decided I was going to workout 1-2x per day indefinitely. A week and a half ago, I had to skip a day for personal reasons. I felt awful for it but figured it was a once in a blue moon thing. But then today I have been sick with food poisoning. And I hate myself for not being able to workout. I am fighting every negative thought with what remaining energy I have to avoid thinking that I’m letting him down. I’m letting her down. I’m letting them down... I’m not good enough and I’m letting myself down. Of course this isn’t true but it’s not easy to find that grace for myself, to allow my physical health to take priority over my self-expectations. Shoot, I even wanted to do a different photo for this but couldn’t manage it. But in these moments of weakness and pain and vulnerability, it is possible to give yourself grace and peace.